My internal monologue whenever an ex contacts me: Lo! A wild douchebag appears!

I've got 99 problems and they're all unfinished stories sitting in purgatory. #CopywriterProblems

"Hey, you're a writer, can you fix my cover letter?" #copywriterproblems

#GrossOutAGuyIn10Seconds Give him a menstrual cup. Tell him what it's for.

For someone so small, I sure do have a lot of opinions.